Posted by: cordiallyakacaroline | May 18, 2008

CP and Us

I don’t know how many of you take Club Penguin as seriously as I do. I’m sure that my attachment to the game and my penguin friends can’t be healthy. This weekend has been really hard on me…just like many weekends are. I kinda get excited about the weekends. Then I just get let down. I think I’m going to get to spend extra time playing with my friends and have lots of fun. Then crap happens.

This weekend has been no exception. First on Saturday Laxgirl exited me. It hurt extra because she did it right in front of my face. Then Sunday I saw Katieboblue on line and realized that she wasn’t on my buddy list anymore. (She is Bluumoo2’s new penguin). I thought that Blue and I were pretty good friends. We have been talking by e-mail, I’ve told her some personal things, and she has shared things with me. As a matter of fact, I had been worried about her because I hadn’t heard from her in a few days and the last time we talked she was sorta emo. I had emailed her and didn’t hear back from her. Then today when I saw Katieboblue she acted as if she didn’t even know me. She said that Blue wasn’t playing anymore and had given that penguin away. Then Blue emailed me and said yea that she gave her penguin away and wasn’t playing anymore. Maybe not even going to talk to me ever again.

Nobody, but me, knows how much this hurts. Dawn and I are buddies again, but when I see her she says nothing or says beach and then leaves. As I sit here crying I realize that ya’ll don’t really care at all about Caroline. I always try to tell people that Club Penguin is a game and that’s how you should treat it. I even told Blue that it wasn’t a good place to make relationships. I was having a lot of fun playing CP lately with the baby thing, my girls, some of my new friends, and my old friends. And until today I was thinking that I would play CP forever and ever. But, today, for the first time, I’m actually thinking about quiting Club Penguin forever.

I keep my penguin buddies on my list for different reasons. Each one has something special that they bring to the game for me. If I do happen to exit one it’s because I haven’t been having as much fun with them, or I haven’t seen them for a long time, or I said yes to someone that never came through for me. Sometimes, I get pressured into making a spot for a potential new buddy. But…The nerd in me is finding that for Caroline, the real me, I’m thinking of my penguin friends as real people more and more. Especially since I started this blog and have got to talk to some of you without CP’s filters. Geeze, I’ve even seen pictures of some of you! So more than ever I feel like there’s a special connection between Me and You. Granted I’ve still been following most of CP’s rules about identy, language, addresses, and ethics. However, we have gotten to know each other on lol a first name basis here. And even though there are still a lot of things that we will never know about each other, and secrets you keep and I keep, I feel more connected to the people you really are than ever. I even have this pipe dream that we stay in contact with each other until we are all eighteen and then we get to meet or something.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to sit here crying and post my most inner thoughts for millions of people to read if they want to? Right now I’m thinking to myself that I can still back out of this. That I never have to hit that publish button if I don’t want to. Right now I’m thinking that if you’ve read this much of this post you’re either laughing at me right now or might actually have some sort of feelings for me after all. I’m thinking that reading this can’t be as much fun for you as an igloo contest or a blingee picture. And I’m thinking that everything I just said is something that all people that play CP should know.

There are real people behind those cute little penguins. Everything you say or do to those penguins has some kind of effect on those people. Maybe they are truely playing this as a game and can laugh at everything that you are saying or doing to them. But, the last laughs on you then I guess. Maybe you’re pushing them, or teasing them, or just not saying anything to them. Maybe you are really nice to them or hearting them and they are thinking that you really like them when you are just playing a game with them. Or they really hurt even though a penguin push doesn’t do much other than put words in a bubble.

CP tries to keep us all safe and happy. They thought taking hearts away that time was somehow saving people from getting hurt…. That’s really what their explaination was. I never understood that because they left the mad face there. They also left crying, and the tongue sticking out face. I think their filters are a joke sometimes. I see people saying all kinds of bad words. We all sort of figure out our ways to get around the words that they block. Like three becomes tree or **** becomes ship. Well, I’m sure you’ve all seen something that shouldn’t be done or said. I’ve even said ship once when I first saw Purple’s web log and we had been fighting. I was very confused. I needed to say ship. I wish the filters would let a lot of the things I’m saying through because I’m not saying a thing wrong. Sometimes I’m talking a mile a minute and not a word is showing up. Someone like gets mad because they think I’m ignoring them. Then the whole hurting thing starts again.

So, anyways I’m tired now. I’ll see if I really think I want to quit or not. I just wanted those of you who care to know that I really care about you. I hope that one day we can be REAL friends. And geeze more tears. I have fun playing with you guys. But, tonight I feel like the fun might be coming to an end.

Cordially,
Caroline

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Responses

  1. cord, i keep askin dawn who she’s callin a beach but she wont tell me and i dont think it’s u, i think its me cuz i said she likes crzy and its not true. she dont like crzy. but she doesnt actually treat me bad or anythin. at skool she talks 2 me like ntg eva happend. anyways i dont think its u who’s she’s callin a beach. she even told me she’s happy (somewhere inside) bcuz she saw u again and r not fightin anymore. 😉

  2. CORD U CANT LEAVE! U HAV 2 STAY! IMAGINE UR LIFE WITHOUT CP! IMAGINE ALL THOSE CP FRIENDS WITHOUT U! U CANT GO! BCUZ IF U LEAVE CP THEN I’LL LEAVE CP BCUZ CP IS NO FUN WITH U! MARK MY WORDS… NO FUN WITHOUT U! plz dont leave..im begging..i care. 😦
    😥

  3. i meant without u in the 3rd sentence. BIG mistake.

  4. OMG CORD DONT U DARE! WE ARE SISTERS! WE GOTTA STICK TOGETHER AS 1!!!!!!! NOW, PUT A SMILE ON THAT PRETTY FACE OF YOURS AND I DONT THINK ANYONE SHOULD BE LAUGHIN AT THIS….THIS…THIS EMOTIONAL TIME! SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE QUITTIN’ BUT I DONT CUZ I KNOW HOW MUCH U CARE, SO PLEASE STAY! *cries in hands* IT’S REALLY UNLIKELY FOR ME TO CRY, BUT THIS TIME I MEAN BUISNESS! CAROLINE, DON’T YOU DARE DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! THINK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE WOULD FEEL, INCLUDING PURPLE AND THE CHILDREN! THE CHILDREN WON’T REMEMBER U IF U QUIT, PURPLE WILL HAVE TO TELL THEM THAT THEY HAD A WONDERFUL MOTHER LIKE YOU! DONT EVEN DARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ~Cmervos 😦 (im so emotional! 😦 )

  5. CORD DONT LEAVE! THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN. SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME WANNA THINK ABOUT QUITTING, LIKE WITH HAVING SO MANY KIDS THAT I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW MANY THERE ARE. SO DONT YOU DARE QUIT. ATLEAST NOT UNTIL YOU ARE LIKE THIRTY… BUT THAT WILL BE A DIFFERENT STORY! and by the way if you didnt know this before, when somebody says beach to you it means *whispers* bitch. AND DONT SAY *CRAP* ON A SITE THAT OUR CHILDREN CHECK!

  6. CORD U CANT LEAVE! 😦 😦

  7. EHATS YOUR PROBLEM CORD?!?! YOU CANT LEAVE CP!! WE WONT LET YOU! I swear, if u leave, so will i, SO U BETTER NOT LEAVE!!

  8. luna?

    cord??

    anyone?????

    SOMEONE WRITE SOMETHING!?!?!

  9. wow i know this is a really old post but it made me cry…hugs cord …cp really isnt all that different from real life. its never good when friends fight or arent there for each other…and that does hurt…hugs


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